NOT IN A MILLION YEARSPUNCTURE PREVENTION 1895 Style - now adapted for 2013
Here is the modern method for puncture prevention, adapted from the original 1895 idea for lycra clad, coffee drinking, carbon bike riding cyclists in 2013.
Method. First, new age wheelmen must find any glass, sharp tin, potholes, loose gravel, road obstructions - any obstacle. Note : This is an ingenious plan so could include car drivers, truck drivers - buses, you know the ones, basically anything that annoys you when you go out bicycle riding with your pals. In Brisbane there is only one favourite bicycle riding road, the river ride, so this plan will be a winner here. Next spread the word, write it up and publish all over town, preferably in prominent places where other bicyclists hang out, like your favourite coffee shop. You know theses types of coffee places that resemble a penguin colony in the morning, chock full of waddling cyclists slipping about on their plastic cleated shoes.
Then again these lycra clad, carbon hugging penguin colonists might well just sit on their respective coffee drinking stools, sharing on social media via the oblivion of their hand held devices without ever speaking to any other cyclist who sits nearby.
These biker colonies are known to have a warm glow about them, brought on by a phenomena called "carbon gloating", reminiscent of the aurora australis.
Fresh from their daily battle with the streets, these modern day cycling aficionados can now accurately pass on the full measure of their knowledge to the Chief of Police.
After properly examining the, lycra clad penguin scribbles, in detail, the chief's men can then get themselves into a state of action "taking the proper means for having the dangerous accident causing obstacles removed".
Imagine, no more punctures, no more crashes, no more abuse from drivers, no more debris polluting the roads we ride. It's ingenious.
"Cycling Life does not relate unimportant events."